Imago dialogue is the most basic tool that we teach in all of the workshops and the counseling that we do. It is the single most important must have tool for every couple. Most couples experience the benefits from the very moment they first begin to use this simple but powerful tool.
Many couples are amazed at how quickly they are able to deepen their relationship. Many are surprised at the depth of understanding this simple tool enables their partners to have of them and that they have of their partners.
What Imago Dialogue is not
Have you ever been talking with someone and you became aware that they just weren't listening? Or have you ever been interrupted with the other person changing the subject, or taking over the conversation? Well think back to the last time something like that happened. I am sure you won't have to go too far back. When that happens notice how you feel.
Unfortunately it happens so frequently that most of us have gotten hard or callous to it. Yet, when that happens with the people that are most important to us it really does hurt.
The Unconsious Auto-Pilot
There are a number of bad habits that most of us have picked up along the way. These bad habits are things we do in our conversations without thinking. They are unconscious automatic reactions. I refer to them as the brains Auto-Pilot.
So what are some of these bad habits that you or the people around you may use? Interrupting, changing the subject, not focusing, wondering eye movements, closed body language, etc.
So what happens to the conversation when one or more of these things show up? One of two things usually happens: You or your partner amplifies the emotional intensity. Or, you or your partner shuts the conversation down all together. Sometimes both of these happen. One person will amplify and the other will shut down. A common dynamic we call the distance-er/pursue-er effect happens.
What Imago Dialogue Is
Imago Dialogue is a simple three step process. It is a process that will help you be very intentional with the important conversations.
Have A Great Story About Using the Imago Dialogue?
Do you have a great story about using the Imago Dialogue? Share it!
Dr. Tony Victor